Complications with Sex with Friends

In the movie Friends with Benefits, the two main characters, Dylan and Jamie, decide to have casual sex. They both go back and forth with this idea. Their indecisive attitudes about having casual sex can be explained by Foucault’s repressive hypothesis. The repressive hypothesis is defined as the idea that sex is frown upon unless between a man and wife and that sexuality should be repressed. Many people today battle with this idea of repressing sexuality. In this movie, they choose to embrace it and agree to have sex as friends. In contrast with the repressive hypothesis, both Jamie and Dylan are very upfront with their friends and even family that they are having casual sex. Dylan speaks with a co-worker and his sister while Jamie talks to her mom about Dylan. They are not ashamed of having sex with each other but everyone around them is warning them about catching feelings for each other.

Jamie and Dylan set rules for each other such as no feelings and they are very upfront with what they want from each other. However, even with this idea of sex as friends, you see gender roles form. For example, Dylan claims to feel emasculated when Jamie is on top. This desire for the man to be on top goes with MacKinnon’s claims of male dominance being sexual. MacKinnon also addresses the idea that the role of the women is to be submissive. Women should not have their own sexual drives. MacKinnon points out that this is not true. You can see this idea played out in the movie as well. Jamie wants to have sex just as much as Dylan does. In fact, she is the one to bring up wanting sex first.

The primary question the movie addresses is can a man and a woman have casual sex without forming feelings. The movie’s answer to this question is simply no because Jamie and Dylan do form feelings for each other. However, the more complex answer would be yes, you can but only if you do not expect to stay friends afterward. When they stopped having sex, Jamie continued to date other people and she was fine. Dylan, on the other hand, did not date anyone else and seemed to be bothered by the idea of Jamie dating someone else. When things blew up between them, they were not longer friends. Jamie again was fine because she was hurt by Dylan’s words. Dylan again could not let go. I agree with the movie’s answer to this question that it would be difficult for a man and woman to remain friends after having sex together. Although, I do not think it is impossible. I believe there are people out there who have had casual sex and remain friends but I do not think it would be easy. I have had friends claim that men and women cannot even be friends without sex getting in the way. I do not agree though; I think you can be friends with the opposite sex without the potential for sex complicating things.