God I love faith.

I never know how I feel about religion, but I know how I'm supposed to feel about it. Do I feel about it how I should? No. But then again, would I if I practiced it like I should? Maybe. The one thing that I do know however, is that I don't know a life without religion. Much like Russell suggests, I am one of the children that have been conditioned to believe in a God, and no matter what religion I may practice, I cannot help but believe that there is some all present being out there watching me. Well, I may be able to help it, but it would take more out of me to not believe it than to believe. However, there is always a part of me that wishes I was more like Pi. As a very out of practice Catholic who only goes to mass because of my family, I always wished I understood it more, believed in it more. Felt more connected to it. Pi felt that. But I always liked to believe it's never too late for me. I like to believe more in Pascal's theory that you place this wager to believe in God, and even if it turns out to be wrong, well...you're still a better person because of it. The, what do you have to lose kind of thing. But more than anything, I like how Life of Pi shows how religion is something of a comfort. The power we give it in times of crisis and sorrow. It shows our desire for something greater than us to me, our desire to know that our actions and choices hold meaning towards our outcome, I think that deep down we really need that in times of bad. I know for myself, I only ever turn to God in the extremes, when things are good I am very thankful, when things are hard I'm either doubtful or faithful. Whichever way it goes to God. I think about how in times of strife I am often wondering how God can exist, can be all powerful and all good and accepting, yet do nothing. This is the same view that Mackie shares, and I found myself seeing reason in his argument and remembered how Pi was talking about faith being a house with many rooms. When he says that there is room for doubt, " Oh plenty, on every floor. Doubt is useful, it keeps faith a living thing. After all, you cannot know the strength of your faith until it is tested." I felt like in that moment my faith was being tested. You read things about reason and truth, about the lack of evidence and the irrationality of it all, and it's hard not to doubt. That's why I think that in times of hardship we give so much power to small things, look for signs in the wind, the unknown. We give that power to God because we find it comforting to know that He is showing himself to us, and giving us some of his power. That was why Pi said he felt like God showed him the island to let him rest. He wanted to believe that he was a good person still in God's eyes. He wanted to believe that God was helping him, he needed a reason to have faith in God still. That he wasn't just sitting back and letting this happen to him. We want to believe that God only lets bad things happen to bad people, and good things happen to good people. But the world doesn't work that way, and it shouldn't have to for us to act well and believe in something greater than us. I feel like we always want proof of things, we want a guarantee. The way I see it there isn't much difference in faith and love, yet people are much more willing to trust a feeling when it comes to love, now aren't they? With love people are allowed to show and express it in different ways and allowed more room for doubt and questioning, time to strengthen their beliefs, practice, and feel uncertain. But not with faith and religion. It's a little unfair. We question people for their belief in God much more than their belief in love, when in the end they both mean not having to go through life alone. I think that's why I disagree with Pi's father when he says, "believing in everything at once is the same thing as believing in nothing." Well, I like to believe in a lot of things, people, love, God, justice, truth, and the list goes on. Not everything I need a guarantee in because if I had it, I'm not sure that I would want to learn more about it, strengthen it, sacrifice for it. I think it's good to believe in things without proof sometimes cause it shows your trust in the world, it reminds you of your spirit. It's something that can't be proven but you know it's there, and it doesn't matter if no one believes you. You just have to believe it enough for yourself.