When Harry met Sally

When Harry Met Sally focuses throughout its entirety on the relationship between Harry and Sally throughout the various interactions between them over many years. It specifically raises the question of if a person can be merely friends with so one they desire. The movie makes this clear by focusing on nothing else but Harry and Sally’s relationship. When they first meet they are forced together or as Diane Jeske in our reading might put it, under non-voluntary conditions. Their personalities at first appear to not even be compatible with them just spending time around each other, let alone the more intimate one it would eventually become. However, due to the long car ride they are forced to become familiar with each other. After a number of small encounters over several years eventually they decide to become friends. They have grown and experienced much since their first meeting but still have many of the same quirks they had when they first met. They are also both in a life situation where they could use a friend. The Jeske reading states that “Friendship demands intimacy, where the intimacy involved cannot be forced”. This is why both are merely acquaintances up until this moment. They now voluntarily start spending time together and getting to know one another. They begin to rely on one another. Harry calls Sally when he can’t get to sleep so he has someone to talk to. They feel comfortable revealing information about themselves they would not typically reveal to even someone they were dating (Harry’s I made a woman meow story). But the lines between friendship and romance begin to blur. This is what ultimately the movie is trying to ask. When Harry and Sally are so familiar and comfortable with each other, when they have mutual physical attraction towards one another, when they genuinely love spending time together, are they not perfect for each other as a life partner? The movie could be saying yes seeing how in the end they get together. But weather yes or no, the point remains that the line distinguishing that degree of intimacy is complex and blurry. Jeske attempts to distinguish what differs between family relationships and friendship in the reading. She strays away from any notion of a natural biological component and I believe this is important in regards to Harry and Sally. It is not the fact they desired to and eventually did have sex with each other that marks their transition from friendship to spouse. In fact, the moment they have sex is what nearly dissolve any relationship between them. It is when Harry realizes that he loves all the qualities of Sally that he has become familiar with, even the more initially off-putting qualities such as the way she orders food. Harry wishes not only to be with Sally but be with Sally for the rest of his life. This marks the transition from voluntary involvement to a commitment.