After reading In
Families, Friends, and Special Obligations and watching the film Lost in Translation, I am left wondering
how can we define the relationship between Bill Murray’s character Bob Harris
and Scarlett Johansson’s Charlotte.
Diane Jeske says that, “Friendships…seems to be an instance
of a relationship that individuals choose to enter and maintain”. Then she
investigates the nature of friendships by pointing out that “persons do not
enter friendships in single discrete acts such as those involved in making a
promise or a contract.” She continues saying that “friendships are constituted
by complex clusters of actions and attitudes, they are relationships of intimacy
and expressed concern“ (439).
But as Jeske points out, it is not always easy to determine
if two people are friends. She asks, “Is the person whom one plays tennis with
twice a week a friend?” (440).
If we were to rephrase and place Dr. Jeske’s question within
the context of the film Lost in
Translation, it would look something like “Are two lonely, despairing
spouses who sleep, party, eat together for a few days, but have intimate
conversations they cannot have with their own spouses…meet the qualifications
of being titled as friends?”
What do y'all think?
Jeske says genuine intimacy demands mutuality and
reciprocity. It is evident that Charlotte and Bob have genuine interest in each
other and they reciprocate it. It seems this intimacy is established in Bob's and
Charlotte’s state of life. Both are married and unhappy, and they are seeking
the purpose/meaning in life. The youthful, adventurous Charlotte looks to the older,
wiser Bob to help her in that journey.
So it is apparent the two share a common bond, and this bond
leads to intimacy. However, Charlotte and Bob only develop this bond over a
course of a few days. They then separate, and assumingly never see each other
again. What does this tell us about their relationship? Or friendship (if they
are friends)?
I would argue that Dr. Jeske would say Charlotte and Bob are
not friends, because she views friendship as a mutual commitment/project involving
one another. It is a shared project that both parties develop over a period of
time, and this project is developed and maintained. By her standard, it would
seem that the two abandoned their mutual project (if there even was one). Bob
goes home to his wife and family, and Charlotte is left in Tokyo with her
husband. Their obligations aren’t to each other, but instead to the people they
promised to be committed to in their marriage. Bob is obviously struggling immensely in this regard, considering the fact he (presumingly) has sex with the bar singer. It can also be inferred that Charlotte is second-guessing her marriage, too, with her loneliness and wild-nights out with Bob. However, in the end it would seem they appreciated and
enjoyed each others time, but they have obligations and duties they must do their best to adhere to.
